Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
