I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
