i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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