I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
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There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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