If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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