This is not my ceiling
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
