38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I need moral support for this bender
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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