too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
