Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
