Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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