life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
