Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
