I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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