My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
