Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize