i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
