You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I need to sanitize my soul.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
