If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
