He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
