1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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