yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I will die if light touches me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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