May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
