i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize