I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
