Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
