Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize