You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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