My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
