You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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