marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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