He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
