he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
