I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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