Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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