I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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