Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
