Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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