just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone