No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
