you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
