Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
