the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
