New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
