He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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