he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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