go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
