32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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