with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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