Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
