Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
