You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
