Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
