i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
