do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
